May
I always get this really weird feeling that something big is going to happen to me. Ive had this feeling for a while now but i feel as though it will happen very soon. im not sure if it will be bad or good? i also feel as though i should be doing someting else in life other then what im doing. I mean im in college and working two jobs but i feel as though thats not good enough and i could be doing better? im just not sure what i should be doing or where i should be going with my life? who can help me?
Answer:
Ive planned many things in my life, and not one thing went the way I'd planned.
i was always a bad student, i got lots of C's and C-. but then when I was 15, I decided I wanna get myself together and tried very hard in school. I wanna become a biologist, or maybe a dentist. that year, I studied hard, woke up very early every morning and went to my teacher for extra tutoring. that year I got almost straight A's.
had 2 more years in high school and i had my mind set on excelling the rest of the way…, then my stupid father moved me to alberta. new school, new province/city, new everything. i couldnt handle the change, and my grades were like C's again. anyway, i missed my old home in vancouver, i just wanted to go home. day/night i just dreamed of graduating and going back home and going to college. so I summoned some motivation, and studied hard again. in those 2 years I was obsessed with vancouver, I made myself believe the city was perfect and that alberta was ****. so I graduated with a B average… got accepted into a college in vancouver, and moved back.
first night there, I was like…. ok this wasnt what i expected, this sucks! I think what went wrong was, while i was in alberta for 2 years, I made up this fantasy land in my mind, i convinced myself that alberta was ****, and vancouver was perfect. for so long Ive had this false idea in my mind. and when I came back I found both were ****, I was distraught and angry. I quit college, and just lived off my student loans cause i was depressed and questioned god why I cant just be happy.
I got a job a few months later, and was working at a fast food. i hated it pretty bad, and looked for something better. I fell victim to some online job scams and went broke. I decided I wanna go back to college again, and applied, got accepted. ok.. but because my stupid previous loans got defaulted, I only got half of what I needed. (sorry for the long post, ill wrap it up) long story short, went thru half the semester and ran out of money, and dropped out again. worked through a bunch of crappy jobs, manual labour, warehouse, back kitchen, more fast food, you name it.. I hated it so much I quit each place within the first week.
and soon I was pretty much rock bottom, I had no money for food. I remember i still had some $10 supermarket gift certificates from my birthday and I was living off of those. I felt like a bum, i couldnt even pay my phone bill. there was this one time where I was buying groceries, the total came to $10.50, I only had the $10 certificate, so I took off one item, the total came to $8… I get the cashier the certificate and she told me the store doesnt accept certificates unless its exactly $10 or more. I remember her helping me… she ripped some bananas away one by one, trying to get it to weigh a certain weight so it'd cost closer to $10. finally I've had enough I just said “just hold on, I'll go get cash from the atm”… I never went back, I'll never forget that day i went home cryin. I was 3 weeks away from being homeless. so I planned my suicide to just end it. but soon after I got a credit card with a limit of $5000, for some reason, I dont know why i got that, but i was so freakin happy, i got out and ate a big meal that night.
went back to school for the 3rd time, finally had enough student loans to cover everything. but then I failed too many subjects and had to drop out the 3rd time. I felt worthless and was broke again soon after. I wasnt going back to manual labor jobs, no way. I planned on suffocating myself, or deprive from eating/drinking to end my life. then my cousin got me into
this security guard job just in time, cause a month later i wouldve gone thru with the suicide. this job is easy enough, so ive been doing this for 10 months now. i never again got so broke i couldnt afford food…
and currently I “Plan” on saving money, going back to school, and finally graduating and getting a real job. but then again, nothing I plan ever goes right. so Im starting to care less and less about my plans. If I wanna do something I'd just do it and worry bout it later. cause later i might not be around.. so this might be the last chance I get to do it
Answer:
Sounds like someone has confused you and expected too much of you as you were growing up. There is a book called “I could do anything If I only knew what it was” by Barbara Sher. Subtitled “Discover what you really want-and how to get it”. Published by Hodder at about $20 I think. (paperback) Good luck.
Answer:
alot of people want to be doing somthing else in thier life
as for a “feeling that somthing is going to happen” isnt realy possible
u should think about what you ultamatly want from life and the work out what u need to do to get there
Answer:
well you're in control of your own destiny. so if you feel strongly about something big happening soon, it is up to you for it to happen.
Answer:
http://thesecret.tv/movie/trailer.html
Answer:
this is just god tapping you on your shoulder trying to get your attention